I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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