Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
