I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i think my tv is drunk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
