All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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