Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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