I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Randomize
