erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
