I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
