I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
