Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
