best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
