i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
