We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
