Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
