i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
operation have a gay friend backfired
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
