i don't like sucking hair
I have demons in me.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
