I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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