bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
