Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize