she was so not down for the gang bang
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
