Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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