I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
