glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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