I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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