so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
