I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
