But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
