I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
