Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
