New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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