I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
