He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
