i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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