He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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