I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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