before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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