Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
