who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
