The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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