I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
