If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
