dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
