Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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