Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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