So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Boobs are out for the taking
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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