he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
