I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
