she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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