my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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