Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
