Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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