you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
