So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
