It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
