This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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