We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
