I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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