we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
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He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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