Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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