i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
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I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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