i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
