Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
