I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I party with great urgency now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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