i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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