would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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