You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
