Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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