his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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