Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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